Rules for Handling Afro Hair

I've had a relaxing Sunday. It's usually a lazy day for me. Sleep in, leisurely breakfast, lounge in sweats, talk to friends or relatives on the phone....or whatever!

Got my hair done by a stylist that worked very fast and did an excellent job too! When you find a good hairdresser, you've got to hang on to them. Especially if they have reasonable prices and travel to your place. While I sometimes enjoy the camaraderie and chatting at the hair salon, it often turns out to be a lengthy affair as the stylist can be doing your hair as well as 2 other people at the same time.

The topic of hair is a huge one for black women. The recent documentary "Good Hair" touched on key issues for us, and there's so much more. It's personal yet public, and individual grooming choice yet political--related to health, genetics, perceptions of beauty, class & background. There should be a tax deduction for all the money we spend on our hair! It's an investment and necessary business expense. Most of us need to maintain a certain image at work and our hairdos are a major part of it. And even in more permissive work places, image is still an issue. Despite what great qualities we possess inside, we often judge each other on outside appearance. (I do it too.) And it's feels great to look good=)

A number of my workmates and friends are curious about my frequently changing hairstyles--different colors, lengths, textures....and I've explained afro hair and styles to so many people over and over and over again that I could start a seminar on this topic! Sometimes, I wonder, "haven't you been around other black people with afro hair? Why do I have to be the one to explain this?" Then I figure, maybe they never had the courage to ask=) And you know how segregated hair salons (churches, schools, & neighborhoods) are! That's a whole other issue.

If you are one of those curious people out there, here are a few guidelines:
1) Do NOT reach out and touch a black woman's hair without her permission!
2) Check with her whether or not you can run your hands through it. You can often do this, but you may need to stay away from the scalp depending on style.
3) If you want to give a compliment, you can say "great hairdo/style!" not "great haircut." Even better, say what you like about it: the color, the cut, the curls. I've been around people who smile and look like they wanna say something nice but seem scared. I'm not gonna bite your head off! (If it's not nice then just shut up and don't gawk.)
4) Keep water or any moisture away from the hair. After getting our heads fried, we want to keep that fabulous look without it going all poufy and frizzy prematurely.
5) While natural afro hair may appear hard, it's often soft to touch.

I've given up relaxers (for the 2nd or 3rd time) and in the process of growing out my natural hair so I now wear extensions of different kinds. I used to rock twists with my natural hair at some point and it was fabulous. I had some bias about certain extensions till I tried them. It's fun to experiment with various looks! Celebs who've come out and disclosed whatever "enhancements" they use have made it okay for ordinary women like myself to do the same. And why not? Human beings have been adorning themselves for centuries, we've just taken it to a whole new level.

Grateful, and Why I blog

I am grateful for so many things (and people), and I try to remind myself of them so the stressful things don't get me down. Health, good food, a warm safe place to live, friends and family members that love me despite my imperfections, the freedom to express myself, and the internet!

I have returned to blogland because of the last 2 things I mentioned. I do some journaling and it really helps when I'm under stress =( Also when I'm happy =) It makes it more real or something....And when I think of the events in the past few years of my life, I realize how important a blog was to me. The blog was a constant when so many things were changing; it kept me grounded and somewhat sane=) And when I die, it will be something to be remembered by.

I told a few friends & family members about my blog 'cause I want to share my thoughts and views. There are times I almost wish I didn't--maybe if I wanted to rant about an individual. Then I realized, I'm glad to have a couple of people to hold me accountable. Because, even in this great land of freedom and the age of the internet, anonymity is never completely assured. People get fired, relationships break down, lawsuits for libel and slander spring up, and there can be regrets over inappropriate disclosures online. Sometimes, it's about dancing a delicate dance to express oneself without sacrificing another individual's dignity or privacy. That's how I see it.

I've changed the name of my blog for several reasons:
1)Can't access my old blog 'cause I shut down and deleted the email address I used to open it.
2)My blog's main focus isn't on anger and ranting (although some posts may be).
3)I'm aware that online searches for "girl next door" seem to bring up either Hugh Hefner's lady friends or adult film stars, and as I am neither of the above, I decided to remove that from my title.

I tend to overanalyze stuff sometimes, so I was even questioning identifying myself as a Kenyan girl. I am proud of my Kenyan identity so I want to declare that to the world. "Girl" sounds very young; but I'm gonna stick with it for now. I can pull it off though I'm way past my teens, and not middle-aged yet...lol. I've had a lot of time on my hands recently and need productive, low-cost activities to indulge in (especially when I'm awake really late @ night and waiting for sleeping med to kick in)--blogging fits the bill!